more and more
I want it all
a revolving door
I’ve been caught in

It’s never enough
I need more stuff
Just one more thing
Will make me happy

Some shoes
A trip
What I need
For more social media hits
I am a slave to my debt

I rack it up 
In the pursuit of peace
How can I feel whole
If I don’t own it all?
There’s still so much space
In my dull home
My bare world
My vacant soul

But wait
I’ve sunk too low
Forgotten what this is all for
This chase is abysmal
I want a way out

It’s crowded in here
This passage of self-doubt
I was promised an exit 
I see every so often
Eternally following
My spending obsession

The glimmer of hope
Lies in the moments
Of silence and solace
When I am alone
Pondering
My thoughts as they come and go

I feel it every so often
It frequently calls me name
If I could change my focus
Tranquility would fix my pain

I’d have to leave 
the digital world
Where I’m loved and admired
People know my name
Where I’m more alive
Than in my body

Depriving myself
Of the likes and trends
I’d scare away all of my online ‘friends’ 
I wouldn’t have enough
But I would be enough
My self-love would prevail
I’d be willing to give it all up
For a life that feels real

-— 💌 ----